it's my party and i'll cry if i want to, cry if i want to...

Thanksgiving is tomorrow which basically means the official ‘holiday season’ is right around the corner… and I can’t wait! Although it is almost a bittersweet anticipation because this year is the first year I will be away from my friends and family for the majority of the holidays. When I was packing my bags to move down here months ago I constantly thought about how I would miss my friends I was leaving behind but I thought I would be much more comfortable leaving my family behind than it has really been to do so. The feeling of being homesick has been much more prevalent this week especially since my birthday is Friday and while birthdays are usually just a fun day for most, it is a huge parade of festivities in my family.

My parents and I have always treated each other’s birthday like a national holiday. We always threw the other family member a party and showered them with gifts, a dinner out, etc. Like most people, I thought I would grow out of the love of birthdays but it never happened. I have always thought of birthdays as a reason for celebration and hold mine to that level every year.

When people hear that I love my birthday so much, they automatically assume I am extremely spoiled and expect the world to drop and treat me like a princess for a day, showering me with expensive gifts and praise. This isn’t the case at all. Most often I take care of the little details to make my own day special: I always take the day off of work, buy a new outfit (or borrow a friends since than it’s new to me! hey sometimes I have to save money and can’t justify this…), and usually even plan my birthday party. To me, the birthday is just a reason to get together with friends and I don’t want to burden anyone else with the planning stages. Some years I have even footed the bill just because I don’t want a party to be a finical burden on my money conscious guests – the point is to have fun and be merry… not worried about what people can or can not afford. I remember my birthdays fondly and they really do mark huge changes in my life; it sounds so silly to have your own birthday to be such a huge day to look forward to but for me it works and I just don’t see that changing anytime soon.

So fast forward to this year when I am in Alabama without my family or friends living in a town that still feels foreign to me and my birthday is two days away. I will be spending Thanksgiving and my birthday with Brian and his family and although it isn’t my usual repertoire, I know they are all trying to make it the best weekend it can be. I didn’t want to pity myself over something as trite as a birthday but as each day comes closer, I miss home all the more. I miss my family thanksgiving where my grandparents sing me happy birthday, my mom bakes a special cake, my dad pretends to be grumpy, we all wear paper hats and drink beers as the cousins, aunts, uncles, and etc. rehash the past year. I guess I never realized how much I loved that until I can’t go one year. I miss my friends knowing that this weekend would have been a huge celebration filled with beers, dancing, karaoke, and hundreds of pictures to remember the night by. I know these nights will be numerous once I do move home whether we have a reason to go out or not… but I still wish I could be at home making birthday memories this weekend. *sigh*

Still, I can’t be all gloom because it is still thanksgiving and my birthday no matter where I celebrate! Brian and his family have included my in their plans this year and his mom is even baking my favorite cake. My friends have still gone the extra mile to make me feel special by sending me care packages all week plus I know I am going to get a ton of phone calls (and myspace messages!) My mom went all out and shipped a ‘party in a box’ to my work complete with banners, cookies, party favors, themed napkins, etc. so I could still have the traditional little party. This simple gesture made me giddy as I rushed around the office to hand out treats and still haven’t taken off my ‘Birthday Princess’ pin!

While I know deep down I am homesick and miss my traditional thanksgiving weekend, this one will still be great in its own way. The memories will still be made and it will surely be a great kick off to the holiday season. I am sure I am also learning a valuable lesson about growing up, compromising, flexibility, and etc. but blah blah blah. I am only turning 24… I figure I still have a few years left of treating my birthday like a national holiday. But even at 34 years old I am probably going to be doing the same… it just won’t be seen as excusable anymore. That's okay, I have made peace with that.