office dares

So to help you make it thru these last few days at work before the Halloween parties this weekend, I am posting a simple list of ‘Office Dares.’ It is totally easy; just challenge your friends with this list of dares and who ever can rack up the most points in 24 hours is deemed the winner. The losers must chip in and congratulate the winner with a drink or two. Trust me, running around trying to earn points wastes time and makes time fly by!

Now before you scroll down and scoff at this list, be advised that people do actually compete with these dares. When competing against my boyfriend a year ago, I earned 19 points in a single 8 hour work day, so these dares can be accomplished. (I totally beat him by the way; wasn’t even a close competition!)

One thing that does bother me about this list is that it seems fairly one-sided. I can’t do half the dares listed because there is no elevator in my building and we don’t have regular staff meetings. So I say it is time to expand this list! Give others a chance to compete! Any suggestions of dares to add? How about walk around for 15 minutes with no shoes. Make a necklace out of paperclips and wear it for an hour. Hum inappropriate songs like “Let’s Get It On” or “Sexual Healing” around colleagues. Or even the clichéd ‘photocopy body parts’ dare with various body parts being worth various points would be a good addition.

FYI: I have decided to do this with only 2 hours left here at work to not only pass the time, but to help brainstorm other dares to add. With only an hour left to go, I have already earned 12 points! Whooo hooo! Take that suckers! (I like how I am mocking my non-existent competition.)

Let the games begin!

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINT DARES
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
9) In a colleague's day planner, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.