i can't pry my eyes away from this website...

thanks to mollygood.com, i have been introduced to one of the greatest time-wasting websites: www.overheardinnewyork.com. basically, new yorkers catching tidbits of conversations they have overheard post the hilarious quotes for all to read. like reality television, only a more condensed version and usually more funny. so kick back this monday while reading some amazingly funny, eavesdropped conversations, like this one:

Guy #1: That girl at the party, Kyra -- she was hot.
Guy #2: I thought so, too, but then I saw her MySpace photos, and she didn't look that good. I'll send you a link to them.
Guy #1: Uh... Dude, I saw her in real life. Who cares what her MySpace photos looked like?
-Manhattan-bound F train

hooked yet? i am. i haven't pried myself away this site for the past eight hours here at work. i complied a list of my favorites, so scroll below to check them out. or click here to check out the site for yourself! it's so addictive... or at least it has been for me.

Patient camp counselor: Instead of punching Timmy* next time, can you think of a better solution to your problem?
Sullen six-year-old: Yes. Next time I'm going to rip all his hairs out.
Patient camp counselor: Assuming that ripping hair out is camp-inappropriate, what's something else you could do?
Sullen six-year-old: Fine, then. I'll rip out his eyeballs and piss on his face.
-Central Park

Chick: Okay, so let me get this straight -- you left a top secret threesome at 4:30 in the morning, only to take home a guy you then met on the subway platform who you kicked out of your bed two hours later because your girlfriend was coming home in half an hour?
Guy: Uh, yeah, that's about right.
Chick: Sweet dancing Moses.
-23rd St & 6th Ave

Guy #1: Is this the place?
Guy #2: Yeah, man. Does the pope shit in the woods?
Guy #1: No, dude. He doesn't.
-7th St & Ave A

Tweaker mom: Can I get my butter, please? I paid for my butter, and I'm taking my butter. I paid for it, I tipped for it, and I'm taking it [gets butter, then starts yanking child out the door].
Young daughter: Mommy, you don't even like butter.
-Sunny & Annie Deli, 6th St & Ave B

Gucci girl #1: Okay, let's play 'Would You Rather?'!
Gucci girl #2: Okay.
Gucci girl #1: Would you rather... be an auto mechanic or... die of breast cancer?
-F train

20-something girl with mom, hands full: Could you hit One for me?
Man, pushing button: You're welcome.
20-something girl: Oh! Thank you.Man: Learn some manners.
20-something girl: Man, I'd tell you to fuck yourself if my mom wasn't with me.
-20th St & 1st Ave

Hipster girl: If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Hipster bartender: Lord of the Rings.Hipster girl:
Okay, seriously -- this is a safe place, there's no judgment here, but you're fucking retarded.
-Enid's Bar

Man: I just don't get it! Just last night you were complaining about how you never try anything new, but you feel like you should.
Woman: Ok, well ordering the roast duck is a little different than a threesome, Tim
-13th & 3rd

One-Liners
Elegant 20-ish black chick on cell: Do you truly expect me to come out to New Jersey so I can drink Rolling Rock? And listen to Matchbox 20? With a bunch of white bitches? Who majored in Psychology? ... How many things are wrong with that?
-Salvation Army store, Waverly Place

Thug on cell: Whatchoo mean, it 'wasn't a successful relationship'? I stuck it in her butt 14 times! That's what I call a successful relationship.
-12th St & 4th Ave

Young thug to friends: She makes me all romantic... Like, I want to fuck her under the stars and shit.
-Grand & Broadway